Difference Between Lover and Mistress
Commonly used terms within the BDSM communities are that of “mistress” and “master”. So what is the difference between these two people? Do they have to be one and the same or can one be both? Well, a little research into the origin of the word suggests that the word “mistress” did not come from any French words but came from a German word which meant “a sentry”. And this sentry was also the word for a punishment or a whipping.
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From this point of view it seems to make a lot of sense. In the past a “mistress” was someone who would give the orders for people to perform certain tasks in the house and then once done she would usually leave the room, much like a proper housekeeper. However, in today’s terminology the word “mistress” means a dominatrix or a sexual partner. So what is the difference between a mistress and a dominatrix? Is there a key difference between the two?
Well, the word “mistress” does indeed have an additional meaning associated with it. If you look at the dictionary definition of the word, you will see that it is an appointed position, one held by a woman either in law or in the public sense. In some cultures the word “mistress” is used to describe a woman who gives sexual instructions to her men. In the BDSM community, this role is often assumed by women who are experienced and skilled in the art of domination and submission.
Looking again at the word “mistress”, it is used to describe certain fetishes. In French, the term is often used to describe a kind of sex act in which one person is dominant and the other is a submissive. It is this fetish that is used to describe a relationship in which a dominant partner gives “comfort” and/or pleasure to a submissive partner. For example, a “dominatrix” would give a “pleasure tip” to her dominatrix lover. She might do this by rubbing her nipples or even stimulating her own clitoris with the pointed end of the penis. The submissive partner would then relish the taste and feel pleasure as this is a form of sexual stimulation which allows them both to share in the feeling of sexual bliss.
However, there is a difference here. A dominatrix does not give any pleasure in return, nor does she ask for anything in return. In fact, a true dominatrix will never ask for anything in return, and this is a very important aspect to understand when it comes to understanding the fetishes that can cross over into the BDSM lifestyle. Understanding these different fetishes is a must if you are to fully enjoy being in the BDSM lifestyle.
Another important difference between a BDSM mistress and a lover is the level of dominance that each participant has. When playing in the dom/sub relationship, there is usually some level of dominant/submissive play, especially when it comes to the fetishes. However, this is not always the case. This means that you might be able to dominate someone with actual hands-on contact, but this is only really safe when you are in a public setting, and not when you are alone. When this is the case, you should know how to politely ask your partner whether or not you can perform such actions while you are still on the private stage, for instance.
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